June 2009
1 post
summertime... and the learning continues
while attending a dave matthews band concert with some fellow fordham students i funneled too many beers, met too many boys, and met and befriended some GREAT strangers 1. a 40 year old man and his wife… the man shot-gunned a beer and then funneled one by spilling half all over himself… we bonded over the fact that he play rugby and he was great… i hope im still a champ when im...
May 2009
1 post
When constructing beer pyramids...
…racing another person is a bad idea.
-L
April 2009
24 posts
sads
both L and i will be studying (trying not to get roofied) in eroupa next semester and its starting to get super wierd that these are the last days we will be in the bronx for many many months… come spend some quality time with us before we disappear (thus making your lives a little more sad).
-M
“under the tent = act a fool”
– i apologize to everyone i saw last night
-M
spring weekend lessons
it had been a long weekend, and even though my memory is admittedly a little fuzzy there are many lessons to be gleaned.
1. the most important lesson is that i need to figure out where the hell campus is. being lost in the bronx is not genius, its a good thing campus is large because i walked around the entire thing trying to get inside (for reals, i walked in through the main entrance across...
“(336): I don’t make mistakes…just understandable bad choices.”
– texts from last night (story of my life.)
“(202): if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a...”
– texts from last night (this is a true life lesson)
victories.. a commentary
it was brought to our attention that m’s little victories were not victories at all, but were, in fact, simply “not fails”. We disagree. Just because its a “not fail” doesn’t mean that its not a victory. It merely displays how much failure we have in our lives. and i assure you, its quite a bit. however, we have lots of little victories, and they definitely...
“you know that saying if everyone jumps off a bridge, would you follow them? ...”
– adam
little victories
i am a full believer in celebrating the little victories in life. this is especially important when one fails as often as i do… for example, today i took one of the peer education surveys in order to get some free cotton candy (delicious). during that survey i lied significantly about how much i drink, how many drinks i drink, and the biggest lie, how often i black out. despite all of these...
not genius
I have a several chapter test in italian tomorrow, a physics quiz on material i haven’t read yet, and a bunch of study abroad stuff to turn in. what am i doing? watching tv (i just finished watching a movie) and taking facebook quizzes (by the way, the evil dictator i would be is stalin). i’m a fool.
-L
newt gingrich is a genius
Newt Gingrich told me that looks matter. A lot. His argument was that crime rate is affected by how an area physically looks. What I took from that is this: looks are important, don’t walk around looking a mess or people won’t respect you. Pull yourself together and look a hottie all the time. Its ok to act a mess when heavily under the influence of a substance, but at least look...
what i learned from newt
A psychological barrier for crime is greatly diminished by the aesthetics of the the neighborhood. Garbage and graffitti do more than just make the area look gross, it directly affects crime.
What psychological barrier are you diminishing by wearing garbage?
put yourself together and lower the crime rate, thats all im sayinnnnn
-M
“all i know how to say is “that black man likes it juicy” in spanish”
– lauren prescott
things i am scared of
well, its a long list but here are the top 5 in no particular order
1. having a bastard
2. over accessorizing
3. loud noises
4. flying animals/bugs
5. harry potter movies
yes, i know i am pathetic, no i dont care
-M
real friends
you make real friends in college. well if thats true im screwed. im pretty sure the only time we all get along is when we are drunk (on second thought maybe the solution is that we should just drink all the time). things arent going to change, in fact im pretty sure its only down hill from here. but its not like any of us are going to go out and meet new people, i mean please, we are far to lazy.
...
Friendship
True friendship is finding out where your friends spent the night and going there to make fun of them. That’s true love.
-L
Weekend Wisdom
Things that I learned from my experiences this weekend:
There are only three things I really need in life: puppies, beer, and weed. In that order.
Also, I should never do a kegstand, as it can result in me almost needing emergency medical services.
Furthermore, buffalo chicken pizza is the greatest drunk food I’ve ever eaten.
Finally, the greatest gift you can give a friend is a flower...
not a genius
chasing shots of soco and rum with beer is not the most intelligent thing i have ever done
-M
asher roth is an idiot
i love college but i hate that song.its dumb. first of all, he is obviously mad high because it is just not fast enough. he also gives horrible advice. dont put 2 condoms on you idiot, the added friction will make the chance of them breaking higher.
however, my real problem with that song is that he really really wants to be able to see what he did while inebriated the night before via a video...
walk the walk even if you dont know what the hell...
9 out of 10 people you meet will believe anything you say if you act like they are really dumb when they question you. true talk. no one wants to admit that they are an uninformed waste of air not to mention waste of a $50,000 a year college tuition. thus, you can convince almost all of these people of anything. the key to success is to be confident in your lie. dont back down… ever. the...
a tale as old as time
its just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one, so pick the rich one, make sure that you have babies, and get paid until those babies are 18.
in fact, isnt the practice husband the lesson that beauty and the beast has been teaching little girls? if you can look past all the hair, money makes any man a hottie.
-M
im a genius
today i learned that all geniuses are sluts but all sluts are not geniuses. however, sometimes the slut manifests itself before the genius is recognized…
moral of the story… the whore in the corner of the bar might not be a dumb slut, she might be a genius. be jealous
-M